Dizziness
Insomnia
Night sweats
Joint and Muscle Pain
Heart Palpitations
Headaches and Migraines
Breast Pain
Mood swings
Dry and Itchy Skin
Hair loss and thinning
Dry eyes
Dry vagina
Cold hands and feet
Burning tongue
Electric shocks
Acne
Mustache hair
Incontinence and increased urination
Chills
Weight gain
Inability to concentrate
Fatigue
Weight gain
Nausea
TMJ
Bloating
Swollen Lymph Nodes
Narcolepsy
Dry, brittle nails
Each of these, individually or in various combinations, could be symptoms of:
Allergic Rhinitis
Alzheimer's Disease
Amenorrhea
Amyloidosis
Anaphylaxis
Anemia
Angina
Angioedema
Anorexia Nervosa
Anxiety
Appendicitis
Atherosclerosis
Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia
Bone Cancer
Brain Cancer
Bronchitis
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease
Colorectal Cancer
Common Cold
Congestive Heart Failure
Crohn's Disease
Dementia
Depression
Diabetes Mellitus
Diverticular Disease
Encephalitis, Viral
Endocarditis
Fever of Unknown Origin
Fibromyalgia
Food Allergy
Food Poisoning
Glaucoma
Heat Exhaustion
Herpes Simplex Virus
Histoplasmosis
HIV and AIDS
Hyperparathyroidism
Hypertension
Hyperthyroidism
Hypochondriasis
Hypoglycemia
Hypoparathyroidism
Hypothermia
Hypothyroidism
Influenza
Insect Bites and Stings
Insomnia
Lyme Disease
Lymphoma
Meningitis
Menstrual Pain
Migraine Headache
Mononucleosis
Motion Sickness
Multiple Sclerosis
Mumps
Myeloproliferative Disorders
Myocardial Infarction
Osteomyelitis
Osteoporosis
Otitis Media
Pancreatitis
Peritonitis
Pharyngitis
Photodermatitis
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Preeclampsia
Premenstrual Syndrome
Prostate Cancer
Prostatitis
Radiation Damage
Seizure Disorders
Sexual Dysfunction
Shock
Sinus Headache
Sinusitis
Sleep Apnea
Stress
Stroke
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction
Tension Headache
Thyroiditis
Transient Ischemic Attacks
Tuberculosis
Ulcerative Colitis
Urethritis
Urinary Incontinence
Urinary Tract Infection
Varicella-Zoster Virus
But, in addition, those symptoms are also common (yes common) symptoms of perimenopause and menopause.
For those of you who live in blissful ignorance of such things - namely men and younger women and also me until about 5 years ago - there are, indeed, two phases. Perimenopause is the completely un-time-boxed first layer of hell leading down to the big event, that gets all the street cred: MENOPAUSE! Aka: when your entire body becomes an unknown landscape.
So, lots to look forward to then.
And yet, what do we know about menopause? As a society? Even as women? Not a hell of a lot.
There will be hot flashes.
Period.
Oh, and less of those. Until there are none at all.
That’s what we’re prepared for. That’s what gets discussed as the punchline around the kitchen table. And a lot of women (around 75%) do experience hot flashes at some point. Yet, scratch the surface and you’ll find there are a significant number of women who are in pain, miserable and scared about a whole host of symptoms that they’re experiencing and that nobody even thought to share.
In fact, reducing menopause to some sweaty episodes isn’t only misleading, it’s plain insulting given the way many of us are suffering. In most cases, women experience several symptoms at one time and more throughout this transition, many not even realizing that their discomfort and sudden inability to function, is likely tied to one of the “-pauses” (which, frankly, feel more like full stops).
I’m 48 and not in menopause, which means I’m still getting somewhat regular periods, although more erratic than they were 10 years ago. My doctor took my blood one day and told me (based on one blood draw, at that time, on that one day) that I don’t have perimenopause either. And yet, of those 32 symptoms, I can safely say I regularly experience 25; not one of which is hot flashes. This panoply of delightful experiences comes and goes on the regular and either I’m afflicted by one of the many other, possibly-life-ending issues I listed above, or I am, actually perimenopausal.
Which hints at another problem. Doctors - even ObGyn’s - have NO IDEA about most of this. There is virtually no training and no readily available testing.
(WHAT!? No training on a medical issue that primarily affects women? I’m shocked, I tell you. Shocked!)
Into this medical and social vacuum are sucked many women just like me who are freaking out because their memory loss and inability to process information the same way anymore (as just one example) has them convinced they have early-onset dementia. There are numerous stories online of women (one of whom is a friend) who have left their job or who voluntarily take a less demanding one because they just can’t do it anymore.
3 of my good friends have all, individually, shared with me that they’ve been to urgent care more than once because of heart palpitations that turned out to be “nothing”. None of them even considered perimenopause as a potential cause. Nor was it seemingly brought up to them.
I watched my mother struggle through her -pausal years with crazy bouts of narcolepsy. If she wasn’t up and moving around she would fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Famously, she fell asleep in the front row of Phantom of the Opera, mouth open and faintly snoring. I don’t think we ever discussed that this was probably menopause. We blamed it on her long work hours. Only now do I realize this was way beyond just being tired.
Which gets to the heart of it, really. We don’t talk much about ALL this stuff as women.
Part of that is that we don’t even realize that our many symptoms may have a root cause. Part of it is also that the media continues to frame this period in our lives very narrowly, if at all.
Go ahead, Google “Menopause”, and see how many posts focus on missed periods and hot flashes with only a cursory mention of other, “less common” symptoms.
Then there’s the reality that women “our age” are very rarely even seen in the media. How are we supposed to tell our true stories if we’re shut out of the vehicles to tell them and basically disappear over 40?
But some of the narrative is leaking through. Celebrities like Naomi Watts are championing knowledge, research, and even a celebration of aging, telling their stories directly even as mass market media is slow to do so. Search beyond the articles surfaced above the fold by the Google algorithms and you’ll find blogs by women who came to this place of understanding all by themselves and who are also trying to get the word out.
As more of us Gen X’ers blunder our way through this process, we’re learning and sharing in ways our mothers and grandmothers were neither empowered nor had the tools to do.
“I think it’s time to see women in this phase of life or this age group be well represented. We’ve been under-served in media, stories and marketing far too long. Particularly since more than 1 billion people worldwide will be menopausal by 2025… When you spotlight uncomfortable conversations, they get easier. Progress is made. Why has this particular one taken so long?
Let’s conquer the stigma and address the secrecy and shame we’ve felt and help create a healthier foundation for future generations.
Getting older is a privilege and a time for us to feel proud of our cumulative experiences — to feel empowered, unapologetically so. I think being part of a change-maker generation is exciting. No more walking through this alone.”Naomi Watts
So, the only hot I’m interested in owning these days is the kind that still turns heads, thank you very much. (Providing that can be done in fuzzy socks and sweatpants.)
As for my fellow women of a certain age: let’s talk about this stuff more, yes?
Let’s normalize the experience and share the broad range of symptoms so we can all stop chewing our nails in silence as we wait for the result of yet another test. Let’s connect the dots between us and start demanding that our doctors do the same. Let’s definitely tell our daughters, our sisters, and our nieces, and heck even our sons and brothers and husbands because not only does this affect us, it also affects them, their understanding of what we’re going through, and, ultimately, the seriousness with which we address this challenging period at work and in medical fields as a society.